Forgiveness
“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 TLB
Forgiveness. How can an 11 letter word have so much impact in our lives? How can it hold so much weight and power? Forgiveness is an action we all know so well, but struggle to implement. If I’m being honest, forgiveness has always been a personal struggle of mine. Whether it was intentional or unintentional, I would tell myself that I couldn’t forgive someone who had hurt me.The relationship (family, friends, outsiders) didn’t matter, I didn’t want them to win. I found myself wanting to inflict the same pain they’d imposed on me. However, what I was really doing was making myself sick.
The opposite of forgiveness, unforgiveness, is cancerous. It creates bitterness, resentment, and many other toxic feelings. When I started therapy, I had a long list of grudges against people who I had not forgiven. It sounded crazy saying it out loud because why was I holding on to it? It wasn’t doing me any good. It happened, and the other people weren’t losing any sleep over it, only I was. Sometimes they weren’t even aware of their actions or deceit.
In learning how to forgive others, I learned that it's equally as important to forgive myself. Forgiving myself for letting others treat me wrong because I didn't know my self worth. Forgiving myself for filling the void with ungodly things. Forgiving myself for not having the boundaries or the ability to use my voice to my needs and desires. It’s sometimes hard to look in the mirror knowing that I was a part of my own pain and suffering.
Now let’s get to the hard part. The more you practice forgiveness the easier it becomes. If you find it difficult to forgive, start in small steps. Choosing to forgive in small steps will eventually give you the confidence to confront and forgive bigger situations.
Matthew Mark 11: 22-26 tells us that through prayer, we can receive the desires of our heart, but we must first forgive others, in order to receive God’s forgiveness and blessings. Without God’s forgiveness, I would be burdened with constant reminders of my wrongdoings. I’ve realized that the load I carry is not all mine. I have a lot of things to unpack and the only way I can start doing that is through forgiveness.
